Bullshit RPG: And I Would Walk 500 Miles; And I Would Walk 500 More

[Kaede]

She recoils slightly as if slapped and bows her head to the lady. "A..apologies mmy lady. I...I got caught up admiring your dress?" She responds in a demure and subdued tone.

[Interovegas]

Rho whispers back in raspy tones, parched by ritual and liquor.

"What domain is this Kermit?"

[The Lord Kelvin]

@Interovegas
"You must be one of those weird guys Rowlf asked me to help out. 'Said you guys really helped him out... but that's none of my business. I'm not really sure what you mean by domain, but you're in Abserrum. This is where you guys were trying to get to, right? You were on the ABS red line after all. Anyways, what're you trying to do or find in this town? If you're interested in Frill's shop, he's conveniently right next door."

@Corenat Rovarnus
Looking up the side of the building, the walls seem to be pretty rough and Mistah M could probably manage to get himself up the side, though he'd definitely be going at less than half the speed of those ants scaling the building. The Magyyk Man also spots something familiar about 10 feet above him. shimmering in the air, Mistah M spots what he recognizes as a rift between worlds. These generally aren't just found out in the open like this, but it is what it is. With the proper magical persuasion, The Magyyk Man could probably travel to the nearest realm and escape the ants.

@Kaede
Lady Tamira turns her head, revealing half of her face revealing a... smile? This is Emmilia's first time actually receiving this smile from her (step) mother: a smile without any hint of malice or disgust.
"Whatever the case, lets just get on with this. Soon you will no longer defile this family and pervert it with your presence. Come on, everyone's waiting for you."

Lady Tamira continues descending the steps, expecting Emmilia to follow.

[Kaede]

"Everyone...?" She whispers to herself, obediently following her though keeping a hand on her weapons in case this is a trick.

[Corenat Rovarnus]

Mistah Magyyk Man throws his arms out in a pose, as if he is attempting to tame raptors. "Hold on, m'lady ants! I only have so much magyyk to go around, let's keep our distance and talk this out?"

If he doesn't get a friendly response, he yells "BUGATTI BITCHES, I'M GETTING THE FUCK OUTTA HERE" and enters the rift.

[Interovegas]

Rho strains to recall the purpose the humanfolk handed down to them days before. Vague murmurs of a pending assault or alliance swim in the recesses of his memory.

"I believe I am to seek some nature of clan lea- What wares are offered in this 'Frill's Shop'?"

[The Lord Kelvin]

@Kaede You reach for your weapon as you descend the stairs and grip... nothing?
You arrive on the bottom floor and inspect your person. You are somehow now in a bridal gown adorned with the traditional highborn accessories as one would expect the bride at a rich wedding to have.
Looking around, you find yourself at the end of the aisle in your hometown's local church. In the pews on the left, you spot all your mage college friends and family members staring at you. Some in disbelief, some with sadness, and some with apathy. On the right side you find a bunch of people you might believe to be troublemakers or miscreants.

"Ayyyyy, Mrs. Magyyk Marm, you're finally here."
At the front of the aisle, you spot a familiar character dressed in a jester's finest outfit.
He even has that little flower that squirts water when poked attached to his left breast.

Lady Tamira turns her head towards you once again, smiling that same genuine smile.
"Go on then. Get out of my life then."

@Corenat Rovarnus
You slowly climb up the side of the building as the giant ants quickly ascent towards you.
Reaching out, you start emitting magical energy towards the rift.

"Expellipharmus"
"Floopify"
"Avacado Kedaver"
As the rift opens up, you hear what seem to be incantations being shouted out and you see colorful flashes of light as each phrase is completed.
As the entrance to the rift grows to the size of a potato, you notice what seems to be a group of british kids having a magical war with unnaturally pale, snakelike, evil looking generic bad guys in some stereotypical magical dark wooded area.
Exerting your magical energy towards the portal, it finally reaches a size that you can squeeze through.
Unfortunately, one of the british kids notices you and casts a powerful water spell, sending a torrent of liquid rage rushing right at you.
You quickly lose your grip on the 5th floor wall of the building, sending you crashing down onto the nearest ant, bouncing you even farther away from the building.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

@Kaede
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
The jester bride spontaneously begins screeming

@Corenat Rovarnus
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
You quickly sit up in your bed, finding yourself in a pool of sweat (and it seems you've pissed yourself) as you scream from your strange nightmare.

@Kaede
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
You wake up, shaking in disbelief and your heart pounding. The Magyyk Man seems to have woken you up from your strange dream/nightmare with his screaming.

@Interovegas
"Eh, he's kinda of a random fellow. He sells whatever he pleases all the time, so his stock is always changing. I'd imagine you'd be more familiar with what's being sold today since you rode the same bus as he did to get here. Though I guess you were probably asleep most of the journey given the state you were in when you arrived."

Suddenly a flash of memory invades your mind. You recall Frank Frill, the trader Emmilia bought some stuff from right before boarding the ABS red line.
You recall the slave-owning herb plantation owners plot of starting a revolution against the rich castle folk who wanted to increase taxation and ban slavery.
You recall hearing of the group of knights your newfound comrades supposedly slain in order to save the villagers.
You also vaguely recall some Russian guy that could jump really high and this Latin American guy that had a lot of the herb.

[Kaede]

She sits up and takes slow, deep breaths to calm down. "What a horrible dream...though giving that woman credit, that was a nice dress." She gets up again, dresses in the clothing nice clothing she wore when she was first transported to this world, straps on her hammer and sword, and heads out to look for some food.

[Corenat Rovarnus]

Mistah Magyyk Man shakes his head rapidly while gargling. Now that he's fully awake, he makes an intrigued expression as he changes color to bright green. "Hey...that's pretty good!"
He goes back to sleep to try and have more weird dreams.

[Interovegas]

Rho nods at Kermit and exits the building to enter Frill's shop. He heads for the shop with the intention to ask for temporary employment. Anything to add some coin to purse.

[The Lord Kelvin]

Rolling d2: 2

---

@Corenat Rovarnus
The Magyyk Man tries to fall asleep in the puddle of sweat and piss that's formed atop his cot.
Unfortunately, he finds it too uncomfortable and is unable to do so.

@Interovegas
"Hey there. I'm setting up shop today. I'm thinking about what today's theme's going to be. If you come back in a bit, I'll have everything up."
Rho goes next door to Frill's shop.
After entering, Frill can be seen lugging crates around his shop.
The displays are mostly empty, with some random junk on them.
Frank glances up.

"Your group is a pretty handy group of adventurers though. If you're looking for work, I can offer some money in return for doing some odd jobs."

@Kaede
Emmilia goes down the stairs.

"O hi there"
A man wearing the same uniform the dwarves were wearing greets her behind an information desk.

[Kaede]

"Hello, this may sound weird but where am I? I remember falling asleep but other than that nothing."

[Corenat Rovarnus]

"Dangit!" Mistah Magyyk Man sits up after slumber refuses to take him. He's definitely been able to fall asleep while bathed in his own bodily fluids before, what could be so different about this time?
He checks to see what stuff his fellow adventurers left in the room, then gets up and goes to find a good place to wash off.

[Interovegas]

Rho grabs at the edges of his poncho-esque rag covering displaying his poverty clearly to Frill. "An 'odd' job that would reciprocate a portion of coin would do me well."

[The Lord Kelvin]

@Kaede
"You're in Abserrum. You're one of those guys from the red line that helped Rowlf out, right? He asked me to take care of you guys, so let me know if there's anything I can help you with."

@Corenat Rovarnus
The Magyyk Man finds his own stuff as well as a staff, wand, 1h sword, dagger, and leather armor, as well as his own stuff under the table in the room.
He heads down the stairs in search of a place to wash off and spots Miss Magyyk Marm talking to some rando behind a counter.

@Interovegas
Frank starts opening up his crates and reveals some animal hides.
"I'm going to be selling some hides from that rural village today. I'd like you to help me advertise my wares today. We can discuss pay if you're interested in this job."

[Kaede]

"Is the college of mages located here, need to talk to them about some things."

[Interovegas]

"My guise is not alluring in any way of sales or marketing."

Rho gestures at his rag-bound form and lanky build.

[Corenat Rovarnus]

The gears in the Magyyk Mind continue to turn. "Greetings, you fine, fine specimens. As you can see, I'm very wet. How would you like to lick me down from head to toe until I'm completely dry?" He strikes an inviting pose and flaps his tongue to emphasize the appealing, sensual nature of the task.

[Kaede]

She simply frowns at hearing his voice. "If you wanted to call security to beat him into the ground, we won't stop you. Hell I might actually help." She whispers to the guy at the information booth.

[Interovegas]

Rho gives up with a shrug.

"I will do my utmost."

[The Lord Kelvin]

izded guys.
I am soz.
I am 2 scrub to do, de dew.